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2013 - New Year message - Orchid parents
31 st December, 2012. 


Dear Orchid parents, 


As 2012 slip by and the New Year is few hours away, I send warm New Year Greetings to all of you and your family members. 
Today I had a call from one of the press reporters regarding the gruesome act perpetrated on Yamini and her brave fight to awaken us all. 

She wanted to know if Orchid has done anything “ special” to sensitise our students , specially our boys, regarding safety, respect for girls. She wanted few “bites” from me as an educator. 
I could only respond to her as a human being, as a woman and as a mother. I am sure you all recognize and identify with my sentiments. 

Nirbhaya is gone and left a scar on our National psyche. I don’t know if we can pay any fitting tribute to the departed soul. I hope we carry on this trauma as if it is inflicted on our own daughters and sons ( yes, abuse has no gender) so that we tread a path where we will raise alarm every time we come across atrocity – against girls, children, boys, adults, old people, physically and mentally challenged, marginalized communities, tribal community ……the list seem endless. 

I gave my two bits of “ bites” to the reporter. This is what I said. 

While we celebrate womanhood, motherhood and worship all forms of life in our civilization, we have perhaps ritualized it and forgotten the real messages our civilization , our mythology , our religions has given us. Our national pride is increasingly more expressed in words ( at time bordering to rhetoric) and less felt in action. 

We can’t deal with this enormous situation with one session here and there , now and then. It has to become part of our thinking, belief system, cultural codes, social norms and our conscience. We, as significant adults need to examine the way we bring up our daughters and sons. Abusive behavior seems to have no class, caste, regional borders in India. It starts from home. Our children watch us – our attitude, behavior, expressions, choices towards our girls and boys. Educated class seems to be no exception to perpetuating all stereotypes and biases. We want our girls and women to “ zip up “ their blouses and “ pull down” their skirts. This is granted – as a natural protective parental instinct. How about teaching both our boys and girls the idea of respect in relationship? It is very easy to be dragged into polarized discussion of boys Vs girls. We need to watch that tendency to pitch one against the other. If we want real change, we have to have more holistic, humanistic approach. 
When Orchid had the Comprehensive sexuality education program for 9th graders, few parents expressed shock that we are teaching matters that are not very necessary for this age group. Their assumptions were based on fear of the unknown. We were, in fact, talking about safety, respect, relationship, gender behavior that society has given, responsibility to partners, stereotypes ( that Bollywood brainwashes our young minds) , abuse in sexual relationship, conflicts in relationships, ownership in relationships and much more.

If schools reduce sex education to mere “one shot in the arm" , 
if families have a veiled silence around the idea of relationship and intimacy, 
if media portrays an archetypical female and male behavior,
if our young people are strongly influenced by how Bollywood, Tolly Wood and Holly wood where violence is the way of life and expression for winning, and over romanticize the “ love “ angle, 
if face book and social media has unmonitored monsters who will voyeur on our young people, 
if our governance fails to protect them on the streets and legal system lets them down, 
I wonder where will our young people learn their like skills from? 

Parents please talk about it to your children ( and adults) so that we truly pay tribute to all the Nirbhayas and Yaminis, some who are not even allowed to be born, let alone be allowed to live with respect and dignity. 
Teach your young ones the value of respect in relationship. 
Because , that is the only thing that will matter eventually, in life. 


Warmly Yours,

Lakshmi Di